The Myth of Self
by meditative - December 6th, 2010.Filed under: Insights for Mindful Intelligence.
~ Adapted from “Rebel Buddha”- Dzogchen Ponlop
Imagine looking down one day and seeing that your hand is clenched in a fist. You sense that you are holding on to something so vital that you cannot let it go. Your fist is clenched so tightly that your hand hurts. The ache in your hand travels up your arm, and tension spreads throughout your body. This goes on for years, but life moves forward. Then one day you forget about it, and your hand opens up to reveal nothing inside. Imagine your surprise…
What gives rise to this tendency to “cling”, and what are we clinging to? Looking deeply into this process, what do we see there? Who is this “I” that I hold so personally and so profoundly to be the center of my existence? The mind has led us to believe that “I” is the totality of our identity- both real and solid. The thought of “me” is an ancient habit deeply ingrained in my sense of being. We “cling” to it because we are lost in its absence. The “I-referent” is the perceived “glue” that holds “me” together.
So consumed with this “I”, it is diligent in protecting its own interests, because it immediately perceives “other”. From this perception, the whole drama of “us” and “them” is born… and neurotic assumptions and judgments emerge as to whether the “other” is for us, against us, or merely inconsequential. From the perspective of “I”, “me”, and “mine”, one becomes entangled in a mind-made maze of how to perceive the “other”. We do not see letting go of this cognitive and emotional process as an option. We continue to grasp what we do see and perceive, and try to make this process into something it is not.
A single, permanent identity has to be my reality…
How can this perception hold true in an impermanent reality, and in a process that is inherently dynamic and fluid. Even the material substance of our physicality is in constant flux. What is palpable is the fluidity of the process- our direct and empirical observation with meditation verifies this reality. We think to give up this thought of a solid, stable “I” would be crazy as we perceive our life to depend on it. However, in actuality, our freedom radically depends on letting it go.