Attending to Our Children: Active Listening
by meditative - October 10th, 2011.Filed under: Mindfulness for Parents & Children.
By really listening to our children genuinely helps them to feel important, appreciated, and respected. A simple conversation with them can deepen dramatically when we really listen to what they are saying…
Our intent to be fully present and to listen to our children helps validate what they are willing to share conversationally.
The nature of “active listening” is a skill that goes beyond just hearing their words. It takes energy and understanding of the feelings that are beneath their words — the emotions and context within which their words are framed.
Here are some tips for active listening:
1. Give your child your full, undivided attention. Don’t be distracted by thinking of what you will say when it is your turn to speak.
2. Maintain good eye contact and make sure your body language shows you are listening by leaning toward your child.
3. Avoid multitasking when you are listening – a presence of listening is just “that”.
4. Refrain from interrupting your child while he or she is speaking and be open to what your child is saying. If you don’t agree, take in what your child says and wait until he or she is finished before responding.
5. Be mindful and ask clarifying questions once your child has finished speaking.
Although it may seem relatively simple and straightforward, active listening is a discipline that takes real practice- yet it may help to truly bring more ease into the lives of our children as well as encourage them to share more openly with us in conversations. Importantly, listening to our children helps to validate their experience.
Remember their day… and each evening before putting our children to bed, we can ask them what was the best or hardest part of their day and really listen to what truly matters to them.