What you don’t work through you become…

The reactionary pattern is largely an unconscious process with energy fueling and maintaining it from an underlying emotional core which may be the amalgamation of varying sources of conditioning – karma, environment, family background, genetic structure, evolutionary inheritances, cultural values, etc.

In the presence of conscious awareness, the energy fueling this reactionary process flows into attention. When intention and motivation are aligned, our attention goes to the operation of the patterns to penetrate and dismantle our passivity. The object of free attention is the reactionary pattern itself.  Much of the bodily sensations (e.g. discomfort) we experience in this practice of transforming habit energy- reaction to response & presence– is the result of the reactionary process operating to erode our attention. Consequently, it’s very important to realize early in the practice that some reactionary patterns will require real staying power as you may not like what you see and feel. The following are three steps which were adapted from the magnificent work of Ken McLeod, and highlight the process of the reactionary pattern in conscious awareness. Reference model for Reactionary Pattern in Awareness to review this flow process.

Step 1- Observation & Recognition- With conscious attention, we are on an onlooker in this process witnessing, observing, and recognizing the feeling tone or impulse of a reactionary pattern as it is occurring-  a moving process that happens rather quickly. The impulse or urge has a familiar “taste” or “smell”- although historically occurring unconsciously, we recognize its form now in our awareness. We are simply observing & recognizing how we react to a specific aspect of our experience without the unconscious “imperative” to act it out as it has been interrupted by our free attention. These imperatives to act on our habit energy arise out of an attachment to our sense of self- our perceived survival depends upon it– and everything and everyone is seen in terms of how they serve our sense of self.

Step 2- Reformation- As we move on in this process with guiding attention and open awareness, we start to shift our relationship with the pattern as we begin to see it clearly both externally in relation to others and internally in relation to our own thoughts, feelings, memories, and associations… “we begin to see it for what it is”… an experience not a fixed element of our personality (Ken McLeod). As a result of this reformation, we may experience fear or sometimes even anger as there no longer exists a reference point for the reactionary pattern. Our attention has interrupted this connection, and it is no longer nourished by the storyline and its underlying emotional core. Energy is now diverted from the reactionary pattern to our field of attention. Things are shifting and new avenues of action and behavior begin to open up.

…. The pattern arises—-flows—- and subsides in awareness.

Step 3- Penetration- The solidity of the reactionary pattern- its form- is penetrated and diffused by the mindsight of our free attention and open awareness. We now have the energy and the open space to allow room for change and transformation to continue its shift and flow as we cut into the reactive pattern again and again with our attention until it falls apart. This process may have to be repeated as some patterns have deep levels of conditioning. As the reactionary pattern continues to be dismantled, we may begin to experience feelings of confidence, empowerment, and liberation as the fear and helplessness of the cycle no longer have the energy to sustain.

Let us look at a working example of an undischarged emotional core- like anger- driving a reactionary cycle in our awareness. Our habitual identification with this undischarged emotional core  feeds our imperatives to act out in a certain way as it fits and supports our projection or internal representation of the “self”. With abiding attention, we begin our observation and recognition of an emotionally charged situation where anger has manifested. In the space of our free attention, the anger moves and empties into our awareness, and into a higher level of attention. With this mindsight, we are not limited to the projected world of the reactive process, and we begin to open up the realm of possibilities for other courses of action.

When our awareness is stable enough, we can act on it. At this stage of the process, we experience the shifting of our transformation- a state of reformation. We recognize the anger and say- “I am angry- and I gently smile at its presence.” This simple acknowledgment changes the flow of energy from habituation to attention, and habit energy has been penetrated.

Mentally, our anger is “cut” over and over again until it falls apart… keeping that soft, gentle smile, and the accompanying acknowledgment until the reactive/undischarged (e.g. anger) emotion is transformed into a mirror-like reflection of itself- empty of conditioned personal agendas- and dissolving the dualistic struggle, our habitual tendency to resist what’s either happening to us or in us.

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